No "How To" Guide for Raising Children....

My daughter turned 26 today.  For the first time in twelve years,  I was in town for her birthday and having a mother/daughter pre-birthday dinner last night.  Being a major "foodie", asking where she would like to go to dinner does not result in an off the cuff or accidental answer.  It's a delightful and loaded question for her, and one that took so much thinking that we actually weren't able to score a reservation.  It was pouring outside and no place we stopped could take us until after 10 p.m. (Seriously people, it was a work night.  10 p.m.?)

Slightly water logged, we settled in to a restaurant a few doors down from her apartment.  With daughters, you often don't know where a conversation will go, depending, most often on their state of mind and latest sequence of events.  It could be a superficial discussion of fashion, catch up about friends or family, or, like last night, a rainbow of topics from reflections from her first year as a post grad student to what happened in Paris last week.

Now I am here to tell you, with no sugar coating, that we have had our share of what my daughter terms, "Epic Battles."  It was  middle school, and  the battle began the moment we got in the car for school.  I would say the same thing every day:  "Don't change the radio channel."  I kept on a Christian pop radio station that I thought would help get the day off on the right foot.  Not-a.  Bingo.  She'd settle into the passenger side and flip the dial.  HIP HOP.  RUDE, LOUD, ANNOYING Hip Hop.  You can imagine what the ride to school was like after that.  Will against will.  Steel no less.  And that about says it all for the next eight years which put together a mom who was decisively "square" her whole life, and a daughter who didn't see the point in missing even an inch of fun.

Do you clamp down, lay back, hold the line or give some rope?  The answer is as individual as trying to figure out one thing and one thing only:  What will help bring this person to the best version of herself that she can be?  And more:  What will bring her along the path that aligns with God's?  There's no primer with an answer.  Tried one thing, didn't work, tried another.  Talked to people more skilled at teenagers than me.  Fought, made up, tried again... and so it went.

Somehow, we got to 26.  And she has leapt back to the amazing qualities that defined her as a child: Enthusiasm, spirit, sensitivity, an eagerness to learn, and a sense of playfulness. Along with something else.  The wisdom of having tried and learned.  Made mistakes and gained.  

What's all this got to do with you?  Maybe you have someone in your life that you are in an Epic Battle stage with.  Or just plain can't get along with.  Possibly can't see eye to eye.  Don't give up.  Twist and turn the situation on its head.  Try one thing and another.  If you do it all with love, good intention and surround yourself with people who might know a thing or two more than you on managing tricky relationships, it will all work out.  You just may be a bit grayer by the end of it!

Offertory Gifts

Shared by a friend:

On Sunday, May 18^th, 2014 I attended Mass with my two children.  Due to their busy schedules, it was rare that we could attend Mass together.  I was grateful.  As we arrived at the church my children were asked by the usher to bring the gifts up during the offertory, which they agreed to do.  

As I knelt to pray, I suddenly realized how special the request was – May 18^th was the 26^th anniversary of my mother’s death.  The last time my children were asked to bring up the offertory gifts was August 26^th, 2013, my mother’s birthday.  Coincidence?  No!  God had given us such a gift on both those days.  As we left church on May 18^th, I asked the usher why she had chosen my children to carry up the offertory gifts.  Her response was that she saw something in their faces and that God wanted her to ask them.  I explained that it was the anniversary of my mother’s death.  She was grateful I had told her for she now understood why God had her ask them.  Thank God for his wonderful winks!